There are lots of well-founded reasons why parents work to shield kids from failure. And some un-founded. We worry that if our kids learn about all the failing, they might end up as failures. They will catch failure. And we will end up the parent with the adult kid living in out in the garage in their thirties, surviving on cans of Chef Boyardee, while spending years trying to finish the application to their tattoo art college safety school. Whatever the reasons that we keep failure on the down low, the degree to which we do is a mistake, as navigating failure is unambiguously one of central keys to an effective and meaningful life.

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There is an old line that gets floated in writing circles that goes something like: you can’t teach writing. Presumably, the line is about gifted writers and teaching what they have. It could be that many years ago someone said it to a writing teacher, but they were emphasizing the you, as in you-specific-writing-teacher can’t teach people to write. But that teacher failed to pick up on the dig, and in turn the teacher started telling others, spreading misinformation about the teachability of writing that has been discouraging would-be writers ever since. Whoopsie.

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Two men are walking down a city sidewalk on the way to make a sales call. One is the leader and the other his subordinate. As they walk, they spot a vintage Porsche 911 parked on the street, gleaming in the sun. The leader says to the subordinate, “You see that beautiful car? Well, someday, if you work really hard, and you do all of the right things,” at which point he pauses briefly. The subordinate thinks he knows where this is going and is instantly picturing his future successful self in that sweet ride. “You do all that hard work,” the leader continues, “and someday, I will be able to afford that car.” It is a funny story, but there is a lot more to it than good dark corporate humor.

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I think you should consider documenting some of your life story and the lessons you want to pass down, whether it is for kids, grandkids, or TBD. For a number of readers, this suggestion will, at the moment, be an especially ironic one—those of you who have kids who are currently going through a phase of life where parental input is particularly unwanted, where simply asking ‘how was your day’ has somehow become super annoying. But how many of us have lost parents and wished deeply that we could have captured their stories and life insights before it was too late? And how many others of us have parents alive, but getting up there, and we keep meaning to do something about this?

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